he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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