I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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