For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
