I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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