that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
