I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
