her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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