We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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