so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
