No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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