He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
