I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i've created a new STD.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
