"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
