It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
