I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
