last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
