sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My ass is underappreciated
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
