apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
