they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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