Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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