You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
