If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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