I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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