And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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