no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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