Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
