do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize