Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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