i was born a porn star she said
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
