careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
