Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is this the sara with the beer cane?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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