Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."