Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(419): I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady... http://tfl.nu/mk09

Replies (1) Good night (1455) Bad night (546)
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(416): View more from Ontario

Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital

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(416): Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital http://tfl.nu/9amh

Replies (5) Good night (4121) Bad night (787)
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(520): View more from Arizona

he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it

(987): View more from

im ashamed your my cousin

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(520): he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it (987): im ashamed your my cousin http://tfl.nu/oj53

Replies (15) Good night (1196) Bad night (3499)
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(512): View more from Texas

a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart

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(512): a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart http://tfl.nu/j66q

Replies (30) Good night (695) Bad night (2854)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight

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(203): I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight http://tfl.nu/ncr8

Replies (79) Good night (7839) Bad night (726)
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(917): View more from New York City

Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.

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(917): Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/g66e

Replies (9) Good night (4634) Bad night (993)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!

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(570): someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?! http://tfl.nu/6u5e

Replies (12) Good night (4364) Bad night (1041)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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(814): Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/kb3m

Replies (11) Good night (2485) Bad night (775)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home

(647): View more from Ontario

Was he satisfied?

(416): View more from Toronto

No, and very vocal about it.

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(416): I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home (647): Was he satisfied? (416): No, and very vocal about it. http://tfl.nu/h3jb

Replies (8) Good night (2609) Bad night (888)
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(512): View more from Texas

I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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(512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l

Replies (11) Good night (1919) Bad night (586)
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(207): View more from Maine

Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow

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(207): Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow http://tfl.nu/s6a2

Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (506)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

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(336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p

Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (471)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

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(734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq

Replies (5) Good night (401) Bad night (573)
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(209): View more from California

He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"

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(209): He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!" http://tfl.nu/rqh5

Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (322)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.

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(216): I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf. http://tfl.nu/h8h6

Replies (3) Good night (275) Bad night (372)

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