What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
