i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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