Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch

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  (313): I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me (1-313): restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch http://tfl.nu/60qu
  Replies (10) Good night (1041) Bad night (1930)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Awesome. Ask her out.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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  (224): Awesome. Ask her out. (815): Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her. http://tfl.nu/pquv
  Replies (14) Good night (610) Bad night (1691)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  How did your new apartment party go last night?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.

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  (812): How did your new apartment party go last night? (219): I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in. http://tfl.nu/upa6
  Replies (3) Good night (3910) Bad night (840)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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  (202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75
  Replies (8) Good night (1052) Bad night (4480)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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  (815): i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head. http://tfl.nu/g1i4
  Replies (5) Good night (1965) Bad night (1647)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.

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  (978): I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far. http://tfl.nu/izah
  Replies (7) Good night (788) Bad night (3377)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  why is my forehead so bruised?

  (1+61): View more from

  i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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  (+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj
  Replies (6) Good night (2348) Bad night (705)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money

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  (647): I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money http://tfl.nu/kbmq
  Replies (10) Good night (728) Bad night (1511)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.

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  (720): Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description. http://tfl.nu/i5hv
  Replies (3) Good night (2256) Bad night (548)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver

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  (352): Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver http://tfl.nu/yics
  Replies (7) Good night (1173) Bad night (525)
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  (650): View more from California

  My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.

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  (650): My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me. http://tfl.nu/zst4
  Replies (2) Good night (1415) Bad night (495)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (1839) Bad night (667)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans

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  (218): I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans http://tfl.nu/y0vw
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (283)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.

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  (423): hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT. http://tfl.nu/qhme
  Replies (5) Good night (1710) Bad night (370)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.

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  (226): I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford. http://tfl.nu/9k7b
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (308)

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