My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
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He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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