she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
