I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.