real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.