When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
