she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
