the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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