Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There r osticjed everywhere
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
