Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's blow job season.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
