omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize