who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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