How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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