You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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