I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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