I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
