i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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