I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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