he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
