i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
