Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
