I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
