So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
