I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
zippers are such a cool invention
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
