i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
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I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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