How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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