thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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