all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
