But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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