Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
