i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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