elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
