I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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