We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
