just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
