If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
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He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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