Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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