Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
