I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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