Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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