U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
