i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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